The time of year we all start making resolutions and some finding ways to renew our old selves.
This year is different for me. Yes we all want to lose weight and be healthier. For me the older I get, I want something different and to achieve different goals.
I am closing in very soon on becoming 40 years old. I focus on the number. Not so much on the omg I am 40! aspect of it because I am more confident in so many ways as opposed to when I turned 30. I want to learn more. My life is in a completely different state and that is because I changed. Not intentionally and not for anyone. We change as we age and so do our thoughts, our needs and our wants.
I want to learn as much as I can about whatever I want. In turn I have to learn to finish my goals. Set realistic goals. I need to find a way to balance. I need to declutter my home (my family would roll their eyes as I throw everything away) as well as my brain.
2018 was many things to me. It taught me many things. Some lessons I was not ready for but with a positive support system around me I was able to find the balance I needed to press on.
I have always had an interest in natural medicine and holistic teachings. We found out that our tremendously healthy and strong Dad, the one who is our hero and fixer of all was diagnosed with kidney cancer.
I went in to panic mode inside. I felt I had a mouth full of tears at any given time thinking about it. I stopped. I wanted to curl in to a ball, close my eyes and not wake up until it was all ok again. I couldn’t do that. I couldn’t do that to someone who would do anything for his family. I would never do that to him. I became for the first time, an Adult.
I realize those words sound crazy. I am 39 years. I have a husband, a job, a business and a 15 year old. I was now to be the adult who would take care and do whatever was needed to make sure dad would be healthy again and mom would not have to worry. I wanted to place him in a bubble. We found out his tumor was so large he was put on an urgent list. From what felt like years from May to July, many appointments back and forth to his specialist. With my wonderful sister along side, it was surgery day and we anxiously waited. He of course without a doubt had an excellent outcome. His cancer was contained in his right kidney. It was the mother of all tumors. Dad had this cancer growing without any signs for 30 years. The tumor had taken over his entire right kidney and was the size of a dinner plate. Yes a dinner plate.
All this lead to my decision of pursuing my course in Holistic Nutrition. I was awarded a bursary with my entry submission essay. I am still in my course. Doing extremely well so far. This is goal number one.
Now here is where my goal setting and finishing comes in to play. I put my studies on pause. After the surgery, recovery, clients for my business and life in general. Life that included my own biopsy that thankfully came back all clear. I needed a break. I felt as though I could not give my all to my course. My ability to concentrate and retain the information was lost.
2019 is going to be about much more. Not material more. But self more. Family more. Nature more. Creating mini goal markers and celebrating them.
I gave myself a gift of a Mentorship Program. I am so incredibly excited to take part in this 12 month journey created by Alexandra Jamieson. I am such a huge fan of Alex. She is an author, mentor, creator and such a voice for empowering women. I could go on! Check her out here, she is awesome!!
Starting in a few days. Me, I am reserved and tend not to share what is going on. Hence this blog is totally not something I am used to writing.
The mentoring program is going to be a new way for me not to feel like I am spinning my wheels. My days start very early. I have a wonderful daughter who is on a swim team. At times we are going to the pool twice a day, traveling out of town for the meets, fitting in workouts and her classes. I work full time and have clients scheduled after work and on weekends. Don’t get me wrong. I love every single minute of it. I am elated when a person is making the choice to have a beauty service done with me. My photographer husband, very talented. I edit his photos. Another aspect I enjoy. In all this I need to find balance. The balance for family, learning, yoga, mediation or take a few minutes to read. I cannot seem to find that balance. I have become so consumed in what I have to do, I feel I have done nothing.
That is where I have landed in my 40th year. I want to learn as much as I can. You change as you age. In a good way. Yes you may have a few more wrinkles or added glitter in your hair. What you gain in knowledge and growth is pretty incredible. As your taste buds change and you find yourself needing more variety and spice, so does your mind. I have always believed knowledge is power. Knowledge is something that no one can take away from you. Knowledge means so much more than material possessions.
Happy New Year!